It has been revealed that papercrafters are likely to live years longer than people who enjoy alternative crafts. The report, as published by The National Centre for Arts and Crafts, sheds light on the long-considered theory that papercrafters are the least likely to befall a fatal craft emergency and could live up to ten years longer than keen knitters, stitchers, crocheters, sculptors, quilters, patchworkers and potters of the same age.
As stitchers chance their lives fiddling with sharp needles and knitters risk being choked in tangles of yarn, the craft stash of the average papercrafter remains the least hazardous of that belonging to alternative crafters with the scalpel being the most dangerous tool in papercrafters’ typical arsenal.
The news comes as niche papercrafts such as origami and adult colouring in grow in popularity, further advertising the mindful and health-promoting element of papercraft. Improved safety devices on essential tools such as die-cutting machines also mean that less than one in a hundred papercrafters are reported to have ever had even a minor craft accident.
“We’re overjoyed here at PaperCrafter. It means our lovely readers have even more crafty years ahead of them!” PaperCrafter Rosalind Moody comments.
PaperCrafter reader Angie Wood reveals her delight at the news. “Us papercrafters always knew we were the healthiest, happiest crafters, not to mention the most talented!” Spokespeople from the knitting and stitching worlds are still yet to comment.
CORRECTION AS OF 1ST APRIL: This has been revealed to be an April Fools prank. No papercrafters, knitters or stitchers have been harmed in the making of this blog.
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